Cambrian University
Vignettes from a campus near you, taken from the novel Somewhere in Europe by PJ Vanston.
“Ummm, yes, I was looking for a copy of The Great Gatsby, but…”
“Trigger warning!” snapped the young woman.
“Sorry?” said Crump, confused.
“Trigger warning,” she repeated, louder this time, as though he was deaf and/or stupid.
Crump was just about to ask what that meant when the librarian explained.
“It means the book is on the banned list because it contains racist, sexist, disablist, homophobic, Islamophobic, transphobic or other material which goes against the university’s diversity and inclusion policy, and which may trigger students in a negative way.”
“But…it’s a classic novel. I did it for A-level,” wailed Crump.
“Recently?” said Arwen, looking at the old man before her.
“Well, no – over twenty years ago, but…”
“Times have changed – and for the better too. We now respect OC students…”
The fact that Crump hadn’t a clue what that meant was obvious to the wondrously ‘woke’ and correct Arwen.
“People of colour,” she explained, eye-rollingly, as if educating a backward child about the basics of potty training.
“Oh…” said Crump.
“Microaggressions, too, must be challenged and exposed.”
Crump knew that ‘microaggressions’ were those everyday slights which supposedly communicated hostility towards so-called ‘marginalised’ groups – anyone except straight white men, basically.
“We have progressive policies at universities now,” insisted Arwen Redmore.
‘Oh what, like the ‘progressive’ policy of banning books,’ thought Crump, but he said nothing.