Hi Joanna. It’s great to hear that they were sufficiently self-confident to ask, and you must have come across to them as approachable and worth asking. No easy answers of course and there isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ list. For teenagers it’s time they got to know themselves - what kind of personality, what are their main skills and abilities. Your point about having a sense of direction rather than a plan is spot on. there’s also the old adage, it ain’t what you know it’s who you know. Build your network and keep working at it. When it comes to particular careers or jobs they should ask themselves whether they enjoy it, are they good at it and does it pay a living? Families - for men, marry a younger woman; for women, start having your children before you’re thirty and still have the energy to bring them up. And ensure you have some years of freedom in middle age.
As a 73 year old, I've made lots of the mistakes you list and so feel that I can add a few observations.
Firstly, it's a complete waste of time to tell teenagers who haven't asked for advice what to do. I wouldn't have listened at their age and can see no reason why they would now! In fact, they'll probably be more likely to do the opposite ...
Secondly, our youngsters do need some advice or reassurance sometimes, so we need to make it readily available when they do ask from reliable sources (like us, of course!) rather than the dark corners of social media who may well not have the young person's best interests at heart.
Don't push advice of them or be too dogmatic or apparently too sure of what's right for them but talk it through with them from as many viewpoints as possible, taking into account how what they choose to do may affect other people.
Be honest about the tough decisions being something we all face and have to deal with.
And that we all make mistakes sometimes but that doesn't make us bad people.
Hi Joanna. It’s great to hear that they were sufficiently self-confident to ask, and you must have come across to them as approachable and worth asking. No easy answers of course and there isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ list. For teenagers it’s time they got to know themselves - what kind of personality, what are their main skills and abilities. Your point about having a sense of direction rather than a plan is spot on. there’s also the old adage, it ain’t what you know it’s who you know. Build your network and keep working at it. When it comes to particular careers or jobs they should ask themselves whether they enjoy it, are they good at it and does it pay a living? Families - for men, marry a younger woman; for women, start having your children before you’re thirty and still have the energy to bring them up. And ensure you have some years of freedom in middle age.
Excellent advice.
Excellent article, Joanna.
As a 73 year old, I've made lots of the mistakes you list and so feel that I can add a few observations.
Firstly, it's a complete waste of time to tell teenagers who haven't asked for advice what to do. I wouldn't have listened at their age and can see no reason why they would now! In fact, they'll probably be more likely to do the opposite ...
Secondly, our youngsters do need some advice or reassurance sometimes, so we need to make it readily available when they do ask from reliable sources (like us, of course!) rather than the dark corners of social media who may well not have the young person's best interests at heart.
Don't push advice of them or be too dogmatic or apparently too sure of what's right for them but talk it through with them from as many viewpoints as possible, taking into account how what they choose to do may affect other people.
Be honest about the tough decisions being something we all face and have to deal with.
And that we all make mistakes sometimes but that doesn't make us bad people.
A great addition - thank you!